November 16, 2025
• Rev. Dr. Rob Fuquay
St. Luke’s UMC
November 16, 202
Stewardship Series
MINE!
My Choice
Genesis 13: 1-12
Commitment Sunday
I want to begin by reminding us of something I pointed out at the start of this series about the importance of children saying “Mine!” It comes off quite selfish sounding and something we’re not real proud of when we hear our children say it, but psychologists point out that it is a necessary part of development. Children must come to a healthy understanding of self before they can take into their thinking the perspectives and needs of others. There must be a Me before we can understand We.
While Paul sounds judgmental of the behavior of children when he said, “When I became a man I put away childish ways,” we might look at that as a developmental statement. We are made to get to “our.” We aren’t meant to spend our whole lives just saying, “Mine!”
[Now there’s a whole field of psychology that probes what means to have a healthy sense of “me.” It means we feel loved, and are safe, and understood. In short, to put it in spiritual parlance, it means we feel blessed.
Without that, without feeling blessed, “we” becomes an enemy. Desperate to fill our own missing blessings, others become a threat that might deprive us further. Or, we become so desperate to fill our missing blessings that we fall quickly for the easy promises others make and never see their attempt to take advantage of us. No, there first has to be a healthy sense of self, otherwise we have no self to give.]
But when we know we are blessed, we can say in the most positive way, “MINE!” so that we can move to the grandeur realm of saying, “OUR!”
Harry Emerson Fosdick preached a sermon nearly 100 years ago that still has relevance for any pulpit today. Here is a portion of it:
A single look at the world reveals how deplorably we are split up into fragmentary and conflicting individuals and groups…we humans ought to be a co-operative community, using the resources of this planet for the common good, and we are not. In practically every service of public worship in the church we employ the Lord’s Prayer, but how many have clearly noted one of its most outstanding characteristics: “When you pray, say “Our…”
No more vital problem confronts humanity today than learning to say (our)…while countless forces crowd us together, many tear us apart: economic forces, breaking us up into angry and competing groups; racial antipathies, making us hate one another; national hostilities, making us fight one another; and through all these the moral factors, envy, covetousness, prejudice, and all uncharitableness, that prevent community.
The most desirable blessings in human life come from fellowship, from beautifully putting things together with a right sense of their community. God cried to hydrogen and oxygen, ‘Say, Our!’ and when they learned aright the principle of community, water came, and rain, and dew, and the sea…What is true in nature is true in human life…We cannot have anything we want unless we share it. We cannot be saved unless we are saved together. We are one body with many members. We better say “Our!”
If there’s any truth to what the old preacher said; if there’s any truth to the Gospel at all, then it means that our best and right choices are the ones that include “our.”
So on this Sunday when we exercise an important choice, a choice we are invited to make every year, a choice to support the work of St. Luke’s for the year ahead, a choice with significant implications of ministry and lives’ changed, let’s look at a story that goes back to the very first place humans learned to say “our.”
The story takes place in this region of the middle east. You can see on this map an arc of green. That is called The Fertile Crescent. It is also known as The Cradle of Civilization. In this area are the remains of the earliest known cities. This is the first place where people began to say “our,” where they discovered they are better off living in community.
A man named Terah, had three sons, Abraham, Nahor and Haran, and they lived in a city called Ur, located in what is today southern Iraq. Haran had a son named Lot, but Haran died. Abraham and his wife Sarah had no children.
For reasons we don’t know Terah decided to take the whole family and began traveling in the direction of Canaan. (map with red arrow) SO they traveled northward by way of the fertile crescent. They got as far as the city of Harran and settled there, and that is where Terah lived out his days.
And that’s when it happened.
Abraham heard from God. He experienced God calling him to take his family and everything he had and go to the land God will show him. Two observations here. First, those words, “everything he had,” appear several times in this story. God’s call on Abraham didn’t just involve him, it involved his family and all he possesses. Even Abraham’s cows get pulled into his call!
And second, God tells Abraham to go to “the land I will show you.” That’s pretty non-specific isn’t it? Just go. “But where Lord?” I’ll tell you when you get there. But how long might that be?” Just go. “But can’t you give me an idea where?” No, Abraham, but I’m more concerned about when than where right now! Get moving. So Abraham has to trust everything he possesses in life without knowing where it will all end up.
And that brings us to today’s story. Abraham and Lot travel together probably because Abraham started taking care of Lot after Lot’s father died. Along the way we read this:
“Now Lot, who was moving about with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. But the land could not support them while they stayed together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together.” (13:5-6)
Who said the Old Testament isn’t very relative today? Have you ever known any families whose possessions became so great that they could not stay together?
So Abraham said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives. Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.” (13:8-9)
So Lot looks out in one direction and sees desert and barrenness. In the other he sees green valleys and rivers and pastures. He sees certainty of blessing, and therefore says to his uncle, “I’ll go that way!”
What’s going there? Abraham exercised his right and power to choose. He allowed his nephew to decide what he wanted, even though that decision had an impact on Abraham and his family and all his possessions. He was free to say, “MY choice is to do what’s in OUR best interest.” Why?
Certainly, one very important reason was Abraham’s personal experience that God was looking after him. That started with God’s call in which he heard God say, “I will bless you.” That blessing would be a great family that would become a whole nation. Now Abraham didn’t see that blessing right away. His wife, Sarah, was still without child. And Abraham got shaky in his trust.
When a famine came to Canaan, Abraham went to Egypt in order to survive, but when he arrived he got afraid because his wife was beautiful. He thought, “What if Pharaoh takes a liking to Sarah?” They will kill him so Pharaoh can make Sarah his wife. So Abraham displayed incredible courage and moral fiber by saying to his wife, “If Pharaoh takes a liking to you, tell him I am your brother!”
Look at his words: “When the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me but will let you live. Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you.” (12:12-13)
What a stand-up guy, huh? And this is exactly what happened. Pharaoh took Sarah into his court on the assumption Abraham was her brother. But God made Pharaoh aware of what he’d done and he confronted Abraham on his ruse and returned Sarah and sent them away.
You see Abraham now had an experience that his vision from God was not just a made up thought. He now experienced God looking after him. Have you ever had such an experience? Actually, a better question is: When’s the last time you had such an experience? When’s the last time you felt that Somebody is looking after you?
During Covid I had a series of painful experiences that resulted in me leaving my staff role at my previous church, and actually leaving that church where our family had been for 28 years. This involved losing people I loved dearly, my church family, and actually my purpose and identity. One specific thing I lost was my primary place of serving, which was a mission in East Africa where I had worked and visited about a dozen times over 10 years. That chapter of my life slammed shut, and the realization that I would never return broke my heart. I sat at the bottom of a pit for a very long time, wondering what could ever come from these ashes.
In 2022, God started writing me a new story, here at St. Luke’s. If you know me, you know how much I love my work here! I am more fulfilled than ever. I love this church, I love the people who serve alongside me in Outreach & Justice, and I know God is using this chapter of my life to do some pretty amazing things for God’s Kingdom.
A couple of months ago I got to go with a group from St. Luke’s to Angel House in Tanzania. I actually hoped this trip would give me some closure for that painful chapter of my life. But….God is still creating something new. The reminder came through the smallest of things…this little rainbow colored elephant I found at a market…I’ve seen hundreds, maybe thousands, of these little soapstone animals in my travels. In fact, I bring one back from every trip…I have a blue one, a green one, a yellow one, etc. But it wasn’t until THIS trip, this new ministry with my new beautifully inclusive church family that for the first time I saw one painted with all the colors of the rainbow. And I knew it represented the new thing God was doing in my life, restoring things that were lost but in this creative new way.
I don’t believe God caused that difficult season to happen. But I do believe God did not waste that pain. God brought me out of that pit as a new person with a stronger faith. And God is not done with my story.
God doesn’t give us such experiences so that we will never have to worry. It is to give us a reason to display faith in times of worry.
So a good reflection question here is this: How do my choices reflect a trust in God’s provision and goodness?
And a second observation about Abraham’s choice. He chose what would bring harmony to people. He did this to the point of potentially sacrificing his own promise of blessing or increased wealth and self-satisfaction to do what helped another and foster good relationship. He chose people. He chose “our.”
That decision runs so contrary to our own souls because we are made to look out for ourselves. And only until we experience the power of choosing OUR do we have something to makes not just want to say MINE!
It comes back to a little child who says “Mine!” It is healthy. It is needed. It is just not meant to be permanent. And rather than lecture a child or even scold them for saying, “mine,” the best way to move them toward our is to give an example. Letting our children see us choosing our is the best example.
I’ve heard adults sometimes share that their favorite memories of childhood growing up were participating with their families in events in which they did things for others. Like shopping for Angel Tree gifts or serving at Thanksgiving meals.
My friend Rob Wineland and his wife Cathi have always been good about helping others, doing what they can to care for people. They would participate in all kinds of activities and events when their girls were growing up.
Last February his daughter Abbie got married here at St. Luke’s. She and her husband, Zach, now live in Valporaiso where they have started attending First UMC. This week the Food Bank of Northwest Indiana shared a story on their web site. Abby and Zach started volunteering with them and organized a “SNAP gap” food drive in which they receive donations and deliver food to people in need in the neighborhood. They delivered over 80 donations of food over several days last week.
What’s the most positive thing we can do for our children? Show them what it means to choose “our.”
So another good reflection question is: How do my choices reflect a commitment to all people in my community and beyond?
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