March 10, 2025
• Rev. Mindie Moore
March 9: The Prayers that Jesus Prayed—Praying for Discernment
Luke 6:12-16
Every March, the St. Luke’s staff does a March Madness bracket competition. And this is a very sacred time for us. It’s a time when everyone, regardless of basketball knowledge or general interest, gets very invested in how the NCAA tournament is going to shake out. Because there are major bragging rights that come along with winning and the competition can get a little intense.
I need you to know...that one year... I was...NOT the winner...but by only ONE POINT! It was between me and one other staff member, the lead kept going back and forth. And it was devastating. The worst part was that if I had just picked ONE TEAM DIFFERENTLY in the sweet sixteen, I would have taken the whole thing.
I was a very dramatic loser in that moment, because of the result of a decision I made, which did not turn out how I had hoped.
Of course, when we are making decisions in most every other area of our lives, the stakes can be, and usually are, a lot higher than our March Madness brackets. Decision making is actually one of those things that can really cause us a lot of angst and worry. We feel the weight of the things we’re trying to decide and we can wonder if we're going to
choose wrong, and then if we do choose wrong, what are the consequences OF choosing wrong going to be. Sometimes it can feel like every decision that we make is the first in a long trail of dominoes that has the potential to impact so many areas of our lives for such a long time.
Decision making, or discernment, as we might know it in the church, is where we begin our Lenten series that we’re calling “The Prayers that Jesus Prayed.” We kicked this off on Ash Wednesday this past week, looking at why it matters that we pray. So if you weren’t able to join us for that you can always find that sermon on our website.
Over the next five weeks, we will look at different times Jesus prays and what we can learn from the ways that he went to God in prayer. We’re going to see that for all that Jesus did, for all the ministry and miracles he performed...prayer was a cornerstone to all of it. Including when it came to making decisions.
In fact, as we see Jesus working to make this decision in Luke 6, the decision of who he is going to invite to be his disciples...the people who will be in ministry with him every single day of the rest of his life (so, yeah, big decision alert), we see that Jesus understands the weight of this. He is taking it really seriously. This is not a simple or carefree process for him. He’s up all night praying, trying to discern,
listening for God’s direction as he gets ready to invite these 12 people into the work he’s doing.
One of the first things I notice about Jesus’ prayer for discernment here is time and effort that goes into making this choice. It’s a good reminder to us because most of the time, solid, trustworthy (SLIDE) discernment takes time. It’s weighing on his mind and he chooses to pray instead of sleep. Or, maybe he CAN’T sleep...maybe you’ve had a decision-making moment like that yourself.
So Jesus takes time. He doesn’t go SUPER quickly, even though he probably could have, I mean, he’s Jesus after all. He knew some things, he’s God on earth. But he lets this be a purposeful conversation with God. He lets it take the time it needs to, while also still moving forward.
There’s some wisdom here for all of us, no matter how you approach decision-making. I think there’s two main camps when it comes to how we discern: you’ve got the people who are so worried about getting it wrong, who really struggle to trust themselves...and these folks often get really stuck. This can actually be a huge pain point for some of us in our faith. We WANT to trust God, we WANT to practice discernment with confidence...but there’s a lot of fear there.
But then there are also the people who go into decision making pretty confidently. And in some ways it’s great, they
can move fast, they can get things done...but they can also miss really important opportunities to receive influence or help or just to acknowledge a need for God’s guidance. Sometimes hastily made decisions can lead to collateral damage, broken relationships, or just a big mess to clean up.
And so, what if, no matter HOW we approach decision-making, we ALL would first start with approaching God? What if we could let our discernment be the process that it is designed to be and we could know that we’re not alone in that process? That even if it takes time, even if we’re afraid, even if it doesn’t feel perfectly natural to hear from God...what if we made discernment a regular part of our prayer practice?
I wonder if we could approach decision-making like that, as a spiritual practice, if that might relieve some of the pressure that comes with discernment. Because, good news/bad news moment...we will never get any decision 100% right. Now, I know some of you are like, “oh but I’m gonna try!” and God bless you in that endeavor. But seriously, think about some of the most significant decisions you’ve ever made...has it ever been completely perfect? My guess is that that would be a pretty rare
experience. Because (SLIDE) even the best decisions come with a cost.
I remember when I had just had my first child, who is now 11, and I was really trying to figure out if I would stay in full time ministry. It was a lot. It was hard some days. And I was really conflicted because I LOVED being part of the Church, I LOVED what God was inviting me to do...and, I wondered if I could or should keep doing it now that I had this little baby who needed a lot of things from me! She didn’t seem particularly concerned or aware that I had a sermon to write or a program to run, she had her own agenda that normally was accompanied by a lot of crying when that agenda was not tended to!
And so I remember being just exhausted and kind of desperate, talking to another friend whose son is just a little bit older than Hazel about this decision I was trying to make. I was TERRIFIED I was going to get it wrong. Like I was going to make a choice and either ruin my relationship with my child OR completely derail God’s calling for my life. And that sounds dramatic in hindsight, but in the moment, this decision seemed like the biggest thing. We can all look back on past decisions with some perspective, but sometimes when we’re in it, that perspective is really hard to find.
Thankfully, this friend gave me some good wisdom. She said, “First, you’re not going to ruin either your child’s love for you OR God’s hopes for you. Those are a lot more solid than you give them credit for. Either decision, to stay in ministry full time or to step out of that world, could be very good and beautiful. But also...it all has a cost. You will say yes to some things, and you’ll have to say no to others. Either way. No decision you make will be perfect...but either decision can be really, really good.”
I’ve held on to that for so many decisions in my life ever since, and I even see it in this story of Jesus and his disciples. Because, with all the prayer he puts into this, with all the intentionality, with all the trust in God that is happening in this moment...the decision he makes is not perfect. There are numerous costs involved. The most obvious one gets called out, right there in verse 16. Luke is listing all of the 12, and then he throws this in there: (SLIDE) and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor.
Ok Luke! He could have given Judas a couple of paragraphs so we could get to know him without all the drama, but no. We’re just going to get all his business out in the open right away.
But honestly, Luke could have showcased SEVERAL of these disciples’ shortcomings in this intro. One night, James and
John are going to argue over who is the most important disciple and they’re going to ruin everyone’s dinner. Peter is going to lose his temper MANY times, and at one point he’s going to cut off someone’s ear. Oh, and then he’ll deny Jesus, more than once, in the moment where Jesus needs his people the most. As a whole group, these guys are going to be prone to bickering and be unable to do the things that Jesus tells them that they absolutely are empowered to do... over and over, it’s going to be a bit of a mess.
But! It’s also going to be really good. Because they’re also going to heal people. They’re also going to help people connect with Jesus. They are also going to be the foundation for the Church and the reason that we are even here telling this story. And even Judas...he’s still part of it. His story is so tragic and feels unnecessary, but just because his story doesn’t go where Jesus would have hoped, it doesn’t mean that his involvement doesn’t have worth. It doesn’t even mean that Jesus should have swapped him out for someone better.
Because even the best decisions have some kind of cost. And even with that cost, even with the imperfections, even with the losses we encounter along the way...these decisions that we make can take us exactly where we need to be.
And maybe, as important as the decisions we make are, as crucial as it is for discernment to be part of our prayer life, just like it was for Jesus, I just wonder if maybe the greatest value in the whole thing is (SLIDE) less about ending up in the right place and more about how we let ourselves be formed along the way.
I can’t give a message on discernment without pointing to the work of Emily P Freeman, who I think is one of the wisest voices in decision-making right now. I’ve talked about Emily’s work many times, and one of the most practical things she talks about is this concept of looking for arrows instead of answers. That so often, our questions about what to do or where to go next actually lead to MORE questions. And this can be incredibly frustrating if we let it be. It can feel like God is holding back direction or like we’re just going to be wandering aimlessly forever.
But what if, instead of trying to grasp at answers or make direction happen...we looked for arrows instead? Feelings, moments, desires, losses, encounters with people that point us to the next step and to how God is walking alongside us. Maybe not the final step, maybe not the end result, but the movement that comes with the process. This, admittedly, takes a TON of trust and involves a fair amount of risk. It might deeply test our patience and our timing. But
this process can also help us connect with God in the realest, most healing way. We can let down our guard and allow ourselves to even ENJOY the decision-making process.
I want to give you 3 really practical tools to practice discernment as both prayer and process. They won’t all land you with you, they won’t all be the best fit. But hopefully a couple will. And hopefully one or two of these will help you engage in decision making in a way that feels really true to who you are and how God has created you.
(SLIDE) Pay attention to your body: when we are trying to discern, often times our body knows the direction to go, our body acts like an arrow, long before our conscious thoughts can catch up. Notice when you feel tension in your shoulders or neck. Notice when your stomach feels tight. Notice when your heartrate elevates or subsides. Pay attention to the moments where you feel comfortable and at home in your body, as well as the times when you feel antsy and less sure. What is your body telling you about the places you find yourself in or the people you are connected to or the idea that’s popping into your head...and how can what your body tells you help you discern what’s next?
(SLIDE) Journal: Take time every day to reflect through writing AND re-read what you have written over time. This
can be as long or short as you want it to be, and you’re writing for you, no one else, so release yourself from worries about grammar or execution or even making it make perfect sense. You can do paragraphs or lists...just capture what you have experienced that day. As you do this, notice the patterns. Notice when you felt aligned with God...notice when you felt confused or alone. Notice where you felt fully yourself or where you had to pretend. Use the patterns and themes you see emerge as tools to make decisions about your next steps.
(SLIDE) Community: Not all discernment needs the input of others, not all decisions need to be a group project! But sometimes a trusted voice or two can help us take the next step. Who are the people who speak truth to you and who you trust to journey through the uncertain spaces of life? Share what you are working to discern with these trusted people and allow yourself to receive their input (this can be vulnerable, but is so holy). Invite their prayers and follow up. Allow them into the places of discernment that feel jumbled and unclear, and watch how God moves through these trusted people as you journey through decision making.
As you experiment with these practices, I want you to keep this in mind, from the podcast that Emily P Freeman hosts calle
When you catch a tiny glimpse of the future, be sure not to smother it with your own agenda. Let it breathe. Let it grow at a healthy pace. Admit it’s both delightful and terrifying. As you take your next right step today, trust that God won’t let you miss your own future. (Emily P Freeman, Episode 23 The Next Right Thing)
God won’t let you miss your own future. And I’d add to that...God won’t leave you as you make your way into that future. Look, you might get a decision incredibly right. You might model that prayer of Jesus and be in constant communication with God on what you need to do and every single thing might fall into place perfectly! Or. You might model that prayer of Jesus and be in constant communication with God on what you need to do...and you might watch it all fall apart. That’s just part of discerning and living out a real, human life.
But good or bad or somewhere in the middle...God is with you. God is with you as you figure it out, God is with you as you live in whatever is next. God is with you as you ask questions, God is with you when you experience clarity.
Wherever you go...whatever decisions you make...the constant truth I pray you hold on to is that God is always with you in that process.
Let’s pray.
God, we invite you in as we hold a hundred different questions.
Questions of what to do next.
Questions of where you could be taking us.
Questions for decisions that might even feel too big to put into a simple sentence or prayer.
Help us listen.
Help us slow down.
Help us look for the places you’re leading.
And help us believe...that you are here.
Amen.